Hey Fatty, Quit Doing That!

DISCLAIMER:
*I AM NOT WRITING THIS TO OFFEND THOSE WHO HAPPEN TO BE BORN WITH THAT EXTRA BIT OF CUSHION. I MYSELF AM A LARGE PART OF THE FAT COMMUNITY AND FEEL IT MY SOCIAL OBLIGATION TO HELP THOSE FATTYS BORN WITHOUT COMMON SENSE.*
So it came to me the other day while having lunch with my sister at café Brazil. I looked to my left and planted on a bar stool (which most of her ass had eaten) was a pleasantly rotund female. And due to her blatant disregard for the unspoken rules of fatdom, she was the center of a series of negative comments. This got me to thinking..should I go over there and tell her? No. Too hurtful. I wish there were some list I could give here with guidelines to live by on the larger end of the spectrum…but there wasn’t. And thus, the foundation for Hey Fatty was laid. It started as a safe and un-hurtful transfer of knowledge for other largely beautiful women.

I got to work as quick as I could (the sooner we cover up those asses, the better, right?!). I enlisted a few ideas from family and friends. I hang out with mostly guys, so I can always count on their brutal honesty! I kept a list with me at all times because I never knew where the next fat catasrophe would be. It has almost started to become an ongoing joke with us. The 'beauty' of it is that no matter where you are....a party, graduation, or the Fiesta Supermercado on a Saturday afternoon, one can always find some poor soul dressed like a squished oompa loompa.

S0 we will be counting down the rules that every fatty should follow...just a suggestion though by all means!